I started crap chef a long time ago, and haven't updated it for about five years. I'd started cooking not long before I started the blog. After years of eating out I was excited by how easy it was to make food that was relatively tasty. My repertoire before that had been pretty much limited to packets of instant ramen noodles, sandwiches and the very occasional stew. I was living in Buenos Aires and dating (my now wife) Veronica. At that time, anything outside of meat and empanadas was pretty hard to come by in Argentina. I would tell Vero about dishes that we were going to eat when we went to the U.S. or Europe or Asia. For example, General Tso's chicken. A classic of Chinese-American cuisine that was just not available in Buenos Aires, even in the (pretty bad) Chinese restaurants, of which there were few. Not something you want to eat every day but as an occasional treat, fantastic! So I looked up a few recipes on the internet and had a go at cooking it myself. It didn't turn out much like what I was aiming for, but it wasn't inedible. A revelation!
Shortly after, we moved to San Martin de Los Andes. There I had more time and played around a bit more in the kitchen, with varying - mostly low - levels of success. I was still finding out what I liked to cook, what I had a feeling for, and most importantly, what we most enjoyed eating. After six months in San Martin, we moved to Barcelona and I kept cooking. That's where the blog Crap Chef begins.
Over the last five years, we've had two kids, opened three bars, and I've done a lot of cooking. It's become something central to who I am, to what I do to relax, to what i think about. It's something I do for myself and for my family. I'm going to try to show something about what I like to eat, what I like to feed family and friends, and how I think about food. My plating is horrible, my methods are perhaps suspect, my photography skills are atrocious, but hopefully my food is tasty!
First, let's start with some bread, as those are the pictures that I have handy. Please imagine that in the pictures there is some carefully scattered flour, a couple of artfully placed stalks of wheat and that the afternoon sun is shining gently from behind and slightly above the loaves, but out of frame.
This is half whole wheat, half regular flour.
This too. Playing around with shapes.
Another couple of half and halves, with some blue cheese scones and some sweet scones.
Another half and half, and a rye loaf.
I make bread every couple of days. It's easy and relaxing. I use a recipe that takes little active time and not much kneading.
Add some yeast and a tablespoon of honey to 300ml of warm water and let sit for 5 minutes.
Throw in a bowl 250g of whole wheat flour, 250g white flour and a pinch of salt.
Mix in the water, knead it for a minute and then cover the bowl with a dish towel and let it rise for about 3 hours.
It should now be twice the size and bubbly. Flour your hands and knead it for a couple of minutes. Let it sit for ten minutes.
Turn the oven on to 220c, with an oven tray inside so it gets hot. Leave it for ten minutes.
Take out the tray and pour a tiny bit of oil over the middle of the tray. Seriously, just a couple of drips. This will keep the bread from sticking.
Shape your dough into whatever shape strikes your fancy. Make a deep split with a knife and dust with flour.
Put it in the oven for about 17 minutes. That's how long it takes in my oven, might be a bit different in yours.
And that's it. Super simple and about 7 minutes of actual active work time.
I'm going to talk about whole wheat flour for a second. White flour has the wheat germ removed. That's fine and dandy, it gives us white, fine flour that lasts a long time. But what it doesn't give us is all the nice nutritious stuff in the wheat germ. That stuff is good for us and helps us grow strong and healthy. It's one of the reasons that Wonder Bread or Bimbo (yes, non-latinos, that's an actual thing) is just not very healthy to eat. We need to eat the wheat germ. Now, bread companies know this, and they know that we'll pay more for bread that seems healthier and has all kinds of "natural" words on the packaging. But the problem from their point of view is that wheat germ contains oils, and oils make things go rancid, so true whole wheat bread, and even whole wheat flour, has a shorter shelf life. Which isn't good for business. So they take out the wheat germ to make regular nice fluffy white flour, then they muck around with the wheat germ to get rid of the things that won't store well, then they add back just enough so that they can claim it's whole wheat without being sued. But it's not whole wheat to any reasonable person. "Whole" should mean just that, whole, without having been mucked around with. And that's not what is in "whole wheat" bread from the big supermarket bakers.
So what does that mean? It means that if you want the benefits (and taste) of whole wheat bread, really, the only way, no matter what the packaging or the commercial says, is to make it yourself from flour you bought yourself from a reputable shop. Don't buy "whole wheat" flour that costs 49 cents and is on the shelf in the supermarket! That's going to be the same as what the big bakers use, and just as modified and mucked around with, to ensure a nice long shelf life. Look at the ingredients on a packet of supermarket bread and compare that to the four ingredients you would use if you make it at home.
I'm going to talk about whole wheat flour for a second. White flour has the wheat germ removed. That's fine and dandy, it gives us white, fine flour that lasts a long time. But what it doesn't give us is all the nice nutritious stuff in the wheat germ. That stuff is good for us and helps us grow strong and healthy. It's one of the reasons that Wonder Bread or Bimbo (yes, non-latinos, that's an actual thing) is just not very healthy to eat. We need to eat the wheat germ. Now, bread companies know this, and they know that we'll pay more for bread that seems healthier and has all kinds of "natural" words on the packaging. But the problem from their point of view is that wheat germ contains oils, and oils make things go rancid, so true whole wheat bread, and even whole wheat flour, has a shorter shelf life. Which isn't good for business. So they take out the wheat germ to make regular nice fluffy white flour, then they muck around with the wheat germ to get rid of the things that won't store well, then they add back just enough so that they can claim it's whole wheat without being sued. But it's not whole wheat to any reasonable person. "Whole" should mean just that, whole, without having been mucked around with. And that's not what is in "whole wheat" bread from the big supermarket bakers.
So what does that mean? It means that if you want the benefits (and taste) of whole wheat bread, really, the only way, no matter what the packaging or the commercial says, is to make it yourself from flour you bought yourself from a reputable shop. Don't buy "whole wheat" flour that costs 49 cents and is on the shelf in the supermarket! That's going to be the same as what the big bakers use, and just as modified and mucked around with, to ensure a nice long shelf life. Look at the ingredients on a packet of supermarket bread and compare that to the four ingredients you would use if you make it at home.
I'm not a big health nut. I don't believe 99% of the claims made by nutritionists and health gurus and people who take supplements and worry about if something is "macrobiotic", whatever that's supposed to be. Most of those people are trying to sell you something. And if not you, then they're trying to sell themselves something (deep!). I'm a big believer in Michael Pollan's dictum:
"Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much."
Of course, could I eat more plants? For sure, we all have our struggles! But I think as far as having a healthy diet goes, we can't go far wrong if that's what we aim for. One caveat - when he says food, he means whole foods, not crap you find in a box or a packet. As he says, stick to the outside aisles of the supermarket and you'll be better off.
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